1
00:00:01,740 --> 00:00:06,620
A fine romance with no kisses.

2
00:00:07,100 --> 00:00:13,760
A fine romance, my friend, this is. They
think we're like a

3
00:00:13,760 --> 00:00:15,660
couple of hot tomatoes.

4
00:00:16,540 --> 00:00:20,260
But we're as cold as yesterday's mashed
potatoes.

5
00:00:21,440 --> 00:00:27,020
A fine romance with no wrestling.

6
00:00:28,120 --> 00:00:34,740
A fine romance with no nestlings. We
might as well play bridge with our

7
00:00:34,740 --> 00:00:38,180
maiden aunts. Love hadn't got a charm.

8
00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:41,060
It is a fine romance.

9
00:00:44,020 --> 00:00:45,380
Yeah, madam is?

10
00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:54,400
Doesn't madam look beautiful?

11
00:00:57,030 --> 00:00:58,030
What do you think?

12
00:00:58,250 --> 00:01:03,630
Well, I mean, I think this finally is,
madam. I really do.

13
00:01:04,709 --> 00:01:05,750
You don't like it?

14
00:01:06,570 --> 00:01:08,390
It's a bit matronly.

15
00:01:10,550 --> 00:01:11,550
That's what I thought.

16
00:01:12,290 --> 00:01:15,670
It's beautiful at the back and horrible
at the front.

17
00:01:16,870 --> 00:01:17,870
No, madam.

18
00:01:18,090 --> 00:01:20,230
Very soft, very flattering.

19
00:01:21,250 --> 00:01:23,310
I think it really is, madam.

20
00:01:24,260 --> 00:01:28,660
No, no. It might be madame in 20 years'
time. Try the red one again.

21
00:01:28,960 --> 00:01:32,440
You don't think the red one's a bit...
Well, you like the bloke. It's supposed

22
00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:34,460
to be a bit... I'll try the red one
again.

23
00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:35,800
As madame wishes.

24
00:01:36,080 --> 00:01:39,380
I still think it's too tight. Well, it
is supposed to hug madame.

25
00:01:40,180 --> 00:01:42,720
But madame is quite, uh, poor.

26
00:01:44,640 --> 00:01:46,220
Madame's going to bang around the head
in a minute.

27
00:01:47,460 --> 00:01:49,240
Now, you want to look glamorous.

28
00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:51,120
Peggy Arbuckle wanted to look thin.

29
00:01:51,640 --> 00:01:52,640
Nora!

30
00:01:56,520 --> 00:01:57,520
You disappear too.

31
00:01:57,600 --> 00:01:58,600
Ladies lingerie.

32
00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:00,640
For me?

33
00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:01,800
Well, in a sense.

34
00:02:02,740 --> 00:02:03,740
She's still in there.

35
00:02:03,840 --> 00:02:04,840
Well, it takes time.

36
00:02:05,140 --> 00:02:06,980
I've forgotten what the outside world
looks like.

37
00:02:07,320 --> 00:02:09,460
Well, you're very patient when I'm
trying on dresses.

38
00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:10,800
Well, that's different.

39
00:02:10,820 --> 00:02:12,240
The end result is so worthwhile.

40
00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:13,720
Little Laura.

41
00:02:14,460 --> 00:02:15,460
Shh.

42
00:02:21,340 --> 00:02:22,760
Yeah, madam is.

43
00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:24,960
Doesn't madam look beautiful?

44
00:02:27,340 --> 00:02:28,340
full. Madam looks full.

45
00:02:28,900 --> 00:02:30,320
It's too tight. Shut up.

46
00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:32,000
Very glamorous.

47
00:02:32,220 --> 00:02:36,040
You might just get away with it. I can't
breathe and I can't walk. Of course you

48
00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:38,180
can. I can't and I certainly couldn't
sit down.

49
00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:41,300
I'd have to stand up all evening not
breathing.

50
00:02:42,100 --> 00:02:44,560
Wait for my face to turn the same colour
as the dress.

51
00:02:45,640 --> 00:02:48,160
I definitely think madam would turn
heads.

52
00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:50,340
People asphyxiating usually do.

53
00:02:51,320 --> 00:02:52,880
No good. I've got to get out of this.

54
00:02:53,100 --> 00:02:54,320
And bring your crowbar.

55
00:02:57,640 --> 00:02:59,740
What a loss for the diplomatic corps you
were.

56
00:02:59,960 --> 00:03:00,960
It was.

57
00:03:01,100 --> 00:03:02,400
I don't know what got into your sister.

58
00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:03,680
She doesn't wear things like that.

59
00:03:03,940 --> 00:03:05,260
Ben. What?

60
00:03:05,540 --> 00:03:08,480
Ben. The bloke she met in Brussels.
That's what's got into her.

61
00:03:08,680 --> 00:03:10,460
Hmm. That was all very quick, wasn't it?

62
00:03:10,740 --> 00:03:14,020
I've got my doubts about him. Well,
she's happy, Phil. Leave it at that.

63
00:03:14,300 --> 00:03:16,380
I thought she and Mike were getting
quite friendly.

64
00:03:16,620 --> 00:03:20,440
Maybe they were, but they're friendly
and they're special, isn't there?

65
00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:21,720
Hmm.

66
00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:24,300
I just think Mike was a nice bloke,
that's all.

67
00:03:24,540 --> 00:03:26,080
Well, I think he's a nice bloke, too.

68
00:03:26,590 --> 00:03:30,090
But let's face it, he is a bit second
division, isn't he?

69
00:03:30,510 --> 00:03:32,390
I wouldn't put your sister in
Liverpool's club.

70
00:03:34,470 --> 00:03:35,550
Excuse me, madam.

71
00:03:36,290 --> 00:03:38,810
I wonder if madam could assist madam.

72
00:03:39,230 --> 00:03:40,230
Yes, of course.

73
00:03:41,650 --> 00:03:45,450
Because madam's zip's broken and madam's
stuck in this dress. That's why.

74
00:03:49,230 --> 00:03:51,530
The end of his little fishing rod is
broken off.

75
00:03:54,090 --> 00:03:55,530
Whose little fishing rod?

76
00:03:58,340 --> 00:03:59,620
Cyril? Look, madam.

77
00:04:00,420 --> 00:04:02,600
Oh, Cyril the Gnome.

78
00:04:04,860 --> 00:04:06,600
Yes, yes, I get the picture.

79
00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:10,480
The end of Cyril the Gnome's little
fishing rod has broken off and you'd

80
00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:11,920
somebody to put it back on again.

81
00:04:13,140 --> 00:04:17,800
Yes, yes, yes, I understand. But you
see, I'm a landscape gardener.

82
00:04:19,980 --> 00:04:21,140
It's the only one you've got.

83
00:04:23,060 --> 00:04:24,240
Like a little friend.

84
00:04:25,580 --> 00:04:27,320
Well, surely a neighbour.

85
00:04:28,840 --> 00:04:32,140
No, people aren't as friendly as they
were during the war.

86
00:04:34,220 --> 00:04:37,160
But I surely can't be your last resort.

87
00:04:38,780 --> 00:04:39,780
I am?

88
00:04:40,900 --> 00:04:47,020
Oh. Right, well, if you just give me the
details, I'll get somebody round there

89
00:04:47,020 --> 00:04:48,020
just as soon as I can.

90
00:04:48,640 --> 00:04:49,940
The address, please.

91
00:04:53,300 --> 00:04:54,800
Is that too old?

92
00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:57,400
Fine.

93
00:04:57,840 --> 00:05:03,760
Right, I'll... No, it'll be our pleasure
to stick little Cyril's fishing rod

94
00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:04,760
back in.

95
00:05:05,860 --> 00:05:06,860
Goodbye.

96
00:05:08,620 --> 00:05:11,020
Why do I let people do it to me?

97
00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:12,360
Do what?

98
00:05:12,740 --> 00:05:15,460
I've just agreed to repair someone's
garden gnome.

99
00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:18,400
God, I wonder you'll float if we
bankrupt it.

100
00:05:18,660 --> 00:05:20,760
Well, she was an old lady.

101
00:05:21,060 --> 00:05:22,180
Yeah, they all say that.

102
00:05:23,410 --> 00:05:26,510
Anyway, I ain't coming here to talk
about business mismanagement.

103
00:05:27,130 --> 00:05:32,030
I've come in here to state quite
categorically that I am not finishing

104
00:05:32,030 --> 00:05:33,050
job in Water Avenue.

105
00:05:33,350 --> 00:05:33,909
What do you mean?

106
00:05:33,910 --> 00:05:35,330
What do I say? I'm not going back there.

107
00:05:35,610 --> 00:05:38,630
Not another Doberman. No, worse than
that, a predatory female.

108
00:05:39,290 --> 00:05:42,810
For two days she's been giving me the
eye. I can't take it anymore.

109
00:05:43,930 --> 00:05:45,230
Oh, come on, Charlie.

110
00:05:45,610 --> 00:05:48,590
Oh, I know, I know. I'm not the strappy
lad I was.

111
00:05:48,950 --> 00:05:49,950
But it's true.

112
00:05:50,430 --> 00:05:52,490
Everywhere I go, her eyes are on me.

113
00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:57,700
Pouring through my clothes to my body.
Your animal magnetism has given a bit of

114
00:05:57,700 --> 00:05:59,560
pleasure to some little old lady we're
having.

115
00:05:59,880 --> 00:06:01,200
Oh, she's not old.

116
00:06:01,480 --> 00:06:03,080
And she's certainly not little.

117
00:06:03,980 --> 00:06:08,420
Lansing about in her patio, dressed in
nothing but a couple of bits of string.

118
00:06:09,120 --> 00:06:11,720
When they come round, she might as well
be naked.

119
00:06:12,640 --> 00:06:16,240
And this half -naked young woman is
undressing you with her eye?

120
00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:17,680
Constantly.

121
00:06:18,860 --> 00:06:20,140
Oh, you can laugh.

122
00:06:20,910 --> 00:06:23,230
They're one of the assets of the job,
women like that.

123
00:06:23,910 --> 00:06:25,150
More money than sense.

124
00:06:26,170 --> 00:06:27,170
Probably bored.

125
00:06:27,910 --> 00:06:32,710
Up comes a tradesman, and before you
know it, wallop. Yeah, it's never

126
00:06:32,710 --> 00:06:33,689
to me.

127
00:06:33,690 --> 00:06:35,150
Well, that's nothing to go by.

128
00:06:36,810 --> 00:06:39,970
You're not telling me she actually tried
anything on?

129
00:06:40,710 --> 00:06:43,510
Only because I won't give it a chance.

130
00:06:45,510 --> 00:06:47,910
I've infused all up with a refreshment.

131
00:06:48,170 --> 00:06:49,310
I won't sit down.

132
00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:53,000
And I keep the edge between me and her
at all times.

133
00:06:54,100 --> 00:06:55,220
Anyway, I'm not going back to you.

134
00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:58,180
You're not having me on about this, are
you?

135
00:06:58,520 --> 00:06:59,520
Of course I'm not.

136
00:06:59,940 --> 00:07:02,180
If you're going to finish the job
yourself, you'll find out.

137
00:07:03,460 --> 00:07:06,020
Well, it looks as though I'm going to
have to, doesn't it?

138
00:07:08,340 --> 00:07:09,620
Don't try to sound reluctant.

139
00:07:10,060 --> 00:07:11,480
Look at you, you're foaming at the
mouth.

140
00:07:11,940 --> 00:07:12,919
No, I'm not.

141
00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:13,920
Here, look here.

142
00:07:14,500 --> 00:07:18,100
You be careful, see, and don't get taken
in. By what?

143
00:07:18,340 --> 00:07:19,340
This woman.

144
00:07:19,370 --> 00:07:22,570
The only queen of bodies she's after.
Oh, I've been after a woman like that

145
00:07:22,570 --> 00:07:23,570
my life.

146
00:07:25,190 --> 00:07:27,810
Anyway, I thought you'd find yourself a
girlfriend.

147
00:07:28,430 --> 00:07:29,430
Me? No.

148
00:07:29,910 --> 00:07:31,930
Well, what about that one you took out
the other weekend?

149
00:07:32,350 --> 00:07:33,350
Oh, Laura.

150
00:07:33,410 --> 00:07:35,690
Now, she wasn't after me, buddy.

151
00:07:36,270 --> 00:07:38,670
In fact, I don't think she was after
anything to do with me at all.

152
00:07:39,490 --> 00:07:42,890
And I somehow can't see her lounging
about in two bits of string.

153
00:07:43,310 --> 00:07:44,930
Oh, well, that's all you want from life.

154
00:07:45,210 --> 00:07:47,050
Ah, it'll do to be going on with.

155
00:07:50,730 --> 00:07:51,870
What do you think you're doing?

156
00:07:53,530 --> 00:07:54,610
I'm having me dinner.

157
00:07:54,850 --> 00:07:56,110
Oh, no, you're not.

158
00:07:56,470 --> 00:07:59,030
I've got another job for you. The
address is on the pad.

159
00:08:00,090 --> 00:08:01,370
All right, what is it?

160
00:08:01,870 --> 00:08:04,090
A piece has snapped off little Cyril.

161
00:08:05,590 --> 00:08:08,390
And this lady wants you to fix it back
on again.

162
00:08:22,860 --> 00:08:23,860
Anybody at home?

163
00:08:24,820 --> 00:08:28,940
It's Selway Landscape Gardening. I've
come to see about your... About my what?

164
00:08:29,220 --> 00:08:30,220
No.

165
00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:33,080
Hedge.

166
00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:36,600
Hedge? Oh, fine.

167
00:08:38,039 --> 00:08:39,200
You're a different man.

168
00:08:39,500 --> 00:08:40,500
Yes.

169
00:08:40,559 --> 00:08:41,840
Younger. True.

170
00:08:45,820 --> 00:08:48,160
I'm a director of the firm.

171
00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:51,660
The director of the firm, actually.

172
00:08:52,220 --> 00:08:54,740
Very kind of you, but there's no rush.
I'm in no hurry.

173
00:08:56,060 --> 00:09:01,940
So, this is the... This is the
headstone.

174
00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:05,580
It looks very much like a head. Oh, yes,
yes, yes, quite.

175
00:09:06,420 --> 00:09:10,620
Why don't you take your shirt off?

176
00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:11,840
Pardon?

177
00:09:13,140 --> 00:09:14,140
It's awfully hot.

178
00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:17,220
Oh, well, it's all right.

179
00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:20,800
Perhaps a button or two?

180
00:09:22,810 --> 00:09:24,670
Oh, I hate clothes.

181
00:09:26,950 --> 00:09:27,950
Do you?

182
00:09:28,170 --> 00:09:31,250
I prefer to run about stark naked in
weather like this.

183
00:09:31,510 --> 00:09:32,570
Would you really?

184
00:09:34,410 --> 00:09:35,670
Would you like a drink?

185
00:09:37,470 --> 00:09:41,750
I haven't done anything yet.

186
00:09:42,330 --> 00:09:43,610
Build your strength up.

187
00:09:52,600 --> 00:09:53,600
Charlie.

188
00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:56,420
Good old Charlie.

189
00:10:00,860 --> 00:10:04,640
What are you doing?

190
00:10:05,560 --> 00:10:06,760
Shut up. You know what you're doing.

191
00:10:25,900 --> 00:10:26,940
A postcard from Brussels.

192
00:10:27,680 --> 00:10:30,440
You've been back for days. Now you tell
me you're busy.

193
00:10:30,720 --> 00:10:31,720
Linda, it's business.

194
00:10:32,720 --> 00:10:33,820
We've got all afternoon.

195
00:10:34,660 --> 00:10:35,940
You're still a swine.

196
00:10:41,580 --> 00:10:42,580
Yes.

197
00:10:43,020 --> 00:10:44,420
You are a swine.

198
00:10:49,940 --> 00:10:52,620
Hungry? I would be if you were cooking
dinner.

199
00:10:52,820 --> 00:10:55,400
Now, that's not fair. Laura's a very
good cook on her day.

200
00:10:55,900 --> 00:10:56,900
I must have missed it.

201
00:10:57,460 --> 00:10:58,460
Oh!

202
00:10:59,220 --> 00:11:00,860
My floating islands have sunk.

203
00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:04,900
Oh, dear. Floating islands? Pudding.
It's special custard with little islands

204
00:11:04,900 --> 00:11:07,840
meringue floating in it. Only mine
aren't floating. They've sunk.

205
00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:10,380
That's not the point.

206
00:11:10,580 --> 00:11:13,880
All right, calm down. I'll have a look.
Oh, would you? Just relax.

207
00:11:14,220 --> 00:11:15,220
Sit down.

208
00:11:15,540 --> 00:11:16,580
Talk to Phil.

209
00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:18,200
Relax.

210
00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:20,720
Uh -oh.

211
00:11:23,660 --> 00:11:24,880
I'd hate to see you in your tent.

212
00:11:25,710 --> 00:11:26,710
It's sloppy, isn't it?

213
00:11:27,290 --> 00:11:30,470
Miss Benn, does he always have this
effect on you? Yeah, I'm afraid so.

214
00:11:31,190 --> 00:11:33,090
Hmm. What's that meant to mean?

215
00:11:33,650 --> 00:11:35,690
Well, you wouldn't be in this state if
Mike were coming to dinner.

216
00:11:36,310 --> 00:11:38,930
You make that sound like an accusation.
And no, I wouldn't.

217
00:11:39,570 --> 00:11:43,090
I like Mike, Phil, but he's not the kind
of man to get me into any state at all.

218
00:11:43,470 --> 00:11:44,470
He's not even drunk.

219
00:11:45,510 --> 00:11:46,510
He's never tried that.

220
00:11:47,810 --> 00:11:50,290
I'm afraid you've had the floating bit.
Oh!

221
00:11:50,670 --> 00:11:55,190
But we're slinging some peaches, soak
them in brandy, set light to them.

222
00:11:55,500 --> 00:11:56,640
And call them flaming eyelids.

223
00:11:57,620 --> 00:12:01,620
Last time I flambéed anything, I burnt
off my left eyebrow.

224
00:12:02,760 --> 00:12:04,720
I'll flambé you take the credit.

225
00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:06,040
Sounds fair.

226
00:12:07,360 --> 00:12:08,360
Ben will be here soon.

227
00:12:08,940 --> 00:12:10,680
This is beginning to sound like the
second coming.

228
00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:12,160
Phil. Sorry, sorry.

229
00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:13,900
You like him.

230
00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:15,640
Everybody likes him.

231
00:12:16,060 --> 00:12:18,720
He's not one of those life and soul of
the party jokers.

232
00:12:19,140 --> 00:12:22,160
What is the matter with you? He thinks
it should be Mike.

233
00:12:22,640 --> 00:12:24,360
I just think Mike's a nice flirt, that's
all.

234
00:12:24,780 --> 00:12:26,280
I'm not old enough to settle for nice.

235
00:12:27,020 --> 00:12:29,160
When I get the blue rinse, then I'll
settle for nice.

236
00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:31,740
Do you know what she means by that? Yes.

237
00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:33,080
Well,

238
00:12:33,540 --> 00:12:35,580
if I were a woman, I'd rate niceness
rather highly.

239
00:12:35,900 --> 00:12:37,160
With your legs, you'd have to.

240
00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:40,060
If I were a woman, I wouldn't have my
legs, would I?

241
00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:44,920
They wouldn't be thin and hairy. They'd
be long and slender.

242
00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:48,280
Rather lovely, actually. We can't choose
our equipment, you know.

243
00:12:48,860 --> 00:12:51,520
We're stuck with what we've got. Now
look what you've done.

244
00:12:51,900 --> 00:12:53,640
It's all right, it's all right. I'm not
going to lose my temper with this

245
00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:56,000
slender -legged lovely because I'm not
in a temper -losing mood.

246
00:12:57,340 --> 00:13:02,360
No, honestly, Phil, when you meet Ben,
you'll see what I mean. He... Well,

247
00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:04,220
Let's just say I'm very lucky.

248
00:13:05,640 --> 00:13:06,640
Hello?

249
00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:12,080
Ben!

250
00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:13,500
Where are you?

251
00:13:15,340 --> 00:13:17,140
Oh, but you're supposed to be...

252
00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:23,720
Your what?

253
00:13:26,260 --> 00:13:27,380
No, you didn't mention it.

254
00:13:29,300 --> 00:13:30,900
Well, give her my best wishes, won't
you?

255
00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:33,960
No, I don't want to talk.

256
00:13:34,780 --> 00:13:37,980
I don't like obscene telephone calls, so
I'm going to hang up now. Because if I

257
00:13:37,980 --> 00:13:39,600
go on any longer, this is going to
become one.

258
00:13:43,680 --> 00:13:44,680
Laura?

259
00:13:45,580 --> 00:13:47,020
That's another thing about Ben.

260
00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:48,800
He's full of surprises.

261
00:13:49,840 --> 00:13:50,840
Like being married.

262
00:14:22,700 --> 00:14:23,700
I was just parting.

263
00:14:24,600 --> 00:14:25,600
Are you nice?

264
00:14:26,340 --> 00:14:27,340
What?

265
00:14:28,620 --> 00:14:31,340
I don't know. Who am I to judge? You
probably are.

266
00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:33,460
Oh, thank you very much. So go away.

267
00:14:53,070 --> 00:14:54,070
You've been crying.

268
00:14:54,250 --> 00:14:55,250
I have not.

269
00:14:55,290 --> 00:14:56,810
What's that water running down your
face?

270
00:14:58,090 --> 00:14:59,090
I'm leaking.

271
00:15:05,870 --> 00:15:07,110
Don't you touch that.

272
00:15:08,190 --> 00:15:11,650
I wasn't going to. I was just going to
have one myself.

273
00:15:12,430 --> 00:15:13,670
Oh, that's all right, then.

274
00:15:23,020 --> 00:15:26,320
floating, flaming, sunken, drunken
island.

275
00:15:28,540 --> 00:15:29,540
No, thanks.

276
00:15:30,020 --> 00:15:31,020
Very wise.

277
00:15:36,360 --> 00:15:37,360
What's the matter?

278
00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:40,380
Nothing. All right, I'll put it another
way. What's the matter?

279
00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:42,840
What's the matter?

280
00:15:43,280 --> 00:15:46,280
What's the matter? There must be
something the matter with you. You keep

281
00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:47,320
me, what's the matter?

282
00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:51,020
What's the matter? What do you want to
know for? Why should you care?

283
00:15:51,470 --> 00:15:54,790
Well, if you must know, I'm after my
Rover Scout's caring badge.

284
00:15:56,690 --> 00:15:59,290
I listen to six people's problems and
then I get the badge.

285
00:15:59,590 --> 00:16:02,110
I've been through five already and
you're the only one I've got left.

286
00:16:03,230 --> 00:16:07,590
Anyway, I don't like to see nice people
crying and I happen to think you're a

287
00:16:07,590 --> 00:16:08,590
nice person.

288
00:16:09,430 --> 00:16:15,090
Well, if you must know the reason, his
name is Ben and I met him in Brussels.

289
00:16:16,290 --> 00:16:17,290
And why are you crying?

290
00:16:17,510 --> 00:16:18,510
Oh, nothing much.

291
00:16:18,970 --> 00:16:20,290
Just found out he's married.

292
00:16:21,050 --> 00:16:23,870
You met him in Brussels and you've only
just found out he's married? Yes.

293
00:16:24,110 --> 00:16:25,110
Oh, what a prune.

294
00:16:26,710 --> 00:16:30,310
I'd use stronger language than that to
describe him. Oh, not him, you.

295
00:16:30,670 --> 00:16:31,670
Oh.

296
00:16:32,790 --> 00:16:33,790
Thanks a lot.

297
00:16:34,590 --> 00:16:35,910
Thanks for being so sympathetic.

298
00:16:42,850 --> 00:16:45,150
I wish you'd stop stuffing that goo down
yourself.

299
00:16:46,330 --> 00:16:49,530
I like it. Oh, you're eating because
you're upset. I'm eating because I think

300
00:16:49,530 --> 00:16:50,530
it's lovely.

301
00:16:53,120 --> 00:16:56,220
Surely it came up in the conversation.
Don't say it came up.

302
00:16:59,140 --> 00:17:00,800
What? Your marriage.

303
00:17:01,620 --> 00:17:03,040
Well, it obviously didn't.

304
00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:07,500
Or I asked the question and developed
hysterical deafness when he replied.

305
00:17:12,200 --> 00:17:14,280
I mean, it's not as if you're a young
girl.

306
00:17:16,859 --> 00:17:19,160
Have you been to charm school while I've
been away?

307
00:17:21,390 --> 00:17:24,530
Long so blind as those who won't see.
Oh, shut up. I suppose they must have

308
00:17:24,530 --> 00:17:26,609
you coming. Shut up! And go...

309
00:18:03,440 --> 00:18:06,480
That's the first sensible thing you've
said since I arrived.

310
00:18:14,040 --> 00:18:16,860
I couldn't get the coffee grinder to
work, so I made instant.

311
00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:18,820
I haven't got a coffee grinder.

312
00:18:37,770 --> 00:18:38,770
Thanks for making me cry.

313
00:18:39,270 --> 00:18:40,270
It's a gift.

314
00:18:42,490 --> 00:18:44,270
You must think I'm a real twerp.

315
00:18:45,070 --> 00:18:46,170
Takes one to know one.

316
00:18:47,250 --> 00:18:49,090
Being an old twerp, I don't like.

317
00:18:51,250 --> 00:18:52,870
You look younger since you've been sick.

318
00:18:56,810 --> 00:18:57,830
Perhaps that's the answer.

319
00:18:58,150 --> 00:18:59,370
Vomit your wrinkles away.

320
00:19:05,770 --> 00:19:07,410
You weren't really passing, were you?

321
00:19:10,550 --> 00:19:11,550
No.

322
00:19:12,370 --> 00:19:16,850
Truth is, I had a lousy day. I needed
cheering up.

323
00:19:17,670 --> 00:19:18,890
You chose the right place.

324
00:19:19,650 --> 00:19:20,650
I did, didn't I?

325
00:19:21,450 --> 00:19:22,450
What's the matter?

326
00:19:22,590 --> 00:19:24,250
Well, you're at it now. I know.

327
00:19:24,770 --> 00:19:25,770
What's the matter?

328
00:19:26,450 --> 00:19:30,570
Well, I made a fool of myself, too.

329
00:19:31,830 --> 00:19:33,390
Not with a married woman.

330
00:19:33,710 --> 00:19:35,470
No, with a nymphomaniac.

331
00:19:37,690 --> 00:19:40,530
I didn't know a man could make a fool of
himself with a nymphomaniac.

332
00:19:40,970 --> 00:19:42,570
No, no, it never got that far.

333
00:19:42,850 --> 00:19:45,770
A boyfriend turned up. Oh.

334
00:19:46,990 --> 00:19:49,950
Trust me, to pick a nymphomaniac with a
boyfriend, what it's worth.

335
00:19:50,590 --> 00:19:51,710
Takes one to know one.

336
00:20:03,400 --> 00:20:04,400
I don't believe that.

337
00:20:16,340 --> 00:20:17,340
Laura.

338
00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:18,860
Ben! I have to see you.

339
00:20:19,200 --> 00:20:21,420
Will you see me now? Push off. Oh, now,
please, listen.

340
00:20:21,700 --> 00:20:23,660
I listened to you before. I listened to
you in Brussels.

341
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:26,660
Look, if you'd like me to go... Who's
that?

342
00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:28,480
Never mind who that is. Oh, well, I
mind.

343
00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:30,300
I'm sorry. I don't want you to go.

344
00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:33,440
I thought I told you to push off. No,
I'm not going until you've listened to

345
00:20:33,500 --> 00:20:34,500
Mike, throw him out.

346
00:20:42,260 --> 00:20:43,260
Well,

347
00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:48,300
you could just listen to him.

348
00:20:49,220 --> 00:20:51,700
I was going to tell you, Laura.
Honestly, I was.

349
00:20:51,940 --> 00:20:54,120
Why didn't you tell me in Bradford? Or
did it slip your memory?

350
00:20:54,360 --> 00:20:55,360
Have we met somewhere?

351
00:20:55,860 --> 00:20:56,860
No, I don't think so.

352
00:20:57,400 --> 00:20:58,400
Look, who is this?

353
00:20:58,830 --> 00:20:59,629
Mind your business.

354
00:20:59,630 --> 00:21:01,670
I wish you'd stop saying that. I'm
sorry. Well?

355
00:21:02,070 --> 00:21:03,070
Well, it never came up.

356
00:21:03,290 --> 00:21:05,070
I mean, you could have been married for
all I knew.

357
00:21:06,190 --> 00:21:08,470
We were just two people enjoying each
other's company.

358
00:21:09,370 --> 00:21:11,830
Well, when I got home from work today
and found Maggie had the flu... Who's

359
00:21:11,830 --> 00:21:12,950
Maggie? My wife.

360
00:21:13,570 --> 00:21:15,850
I rang you and I told you the truth.
Now, I could have lied.

361
00:21:16,350 --> 00:21:17,670
I could have said I had to work late.

362
00:21:18,550 --> 00:21:20,370
You mean too much to me for that, Laura.

363
00:21:20,690 --> 00:21:21,690
Oh, is she, by the way?

364
00:21:21,970 --> 00:21:22,970
Who? Your wife.

365
00:21:23,930 --> 00:21:25,270
Oh, well, you know what the flu is.

366
00:21:25,710 --> 00:21:28,110
She'll be all right. I tucked her up in
bed. Oh, that's the best place. Oh,

367
00:21:28,130 --> 00:21:31,170
wonderful. So you tucked your wife up in
bed, slipped her to get a prescription

368
00:21:31,170 --> 00:21:34,010
filled and make sure of my availability
when she recovers? Oh, don't make it

369
00:21:34,010 --> 00:21:36,390
sound like that. Well, how else can it
sound? How long have you got? Ten

370
00:21:36,390 --> 00:21:37,750
minutes? Oh, time for a quickie.

371
00:21:37,950 --> 00:21:38,789
More, more.

372
00:21:38,790 --> 00:21:39,970
Oh, I'm sorry, but you said two.

373
00:21:40,390 --> 00:21:41,930
I'd forgotten how sensitive men are.

374
00:21:42,130 --> 00:21:44,350
Oh, now, Laura, please listen. You're
not like that for me.

375
00:21:44,610 --> 00:21:47,510
I mean, meeting you in Brussels, it was
very special.

376
00:21:48,210 --> 00:21:50,570
But I couldn't get away earlier. Maggie
really felt awful.

377
00:21:51,370 --> 00:21:53,830
I'd been up in Birmingham all day... You
haven't, you know.

378
00:21:54,150 --> 00:21:56,820
What? I thought I recognised you.

379
00:21:57,340 --> 00:21:59,660
I have never seen you in my life before.

380
00:21:59,960 --> 00:22:01,300
Have a clue. One across.

381
00:22:01,980 --> 00:22:02,980
Champagne.

382
00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:09,920
What are you two talking about? Who the
hell are you, anyway?

383
00:22:10,260 --> 00:22:11,260
Captain Decent.

384
00:22:13,460 --> 00:22:14,800
I beg your pardon?

385
00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:17,520
Oh, you really are a swine, Ben.

386
00:22:18,700 --> 00:22:20,560
What are you talking about?

387
00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:22,800
Well...

388
00:22:23,670 --> 00:22:24,670
I'm sorry, Laura.

389
00:22:26,930 --> 00:22:28,130
Maybe it's better this way.

390
00:22:31,470 --> 00:22:32,830
Goodbye, Captain Deasons.

391
00:22:37,890 --> 00:22:38,890
Oh, God.

392
00:22:39,550 --> 00:22:41,110
I thought he was going to hit me for a
minute.

393
00:22:41,950 --> 00:22:44,350
I shall hit you in a minute if you don't
tell me what's going on.

394
00:22:44,570 --> 00:22:47,850
He lied to you, and if he lied once, he
probably lied twice. He wasn't in

395
00:22:47,850 --> 00:22:48,850
Birmingham this afternoon.

396
00:22:49,190 --> 00:22:49,889
How do you know?

397
00:22:49,890 --> 00:22:51,870
Because he's the bloke who pinch -mined
them for mania.

398
00:22:57,460 --> 00:22:59,360
Oh. Did for us both, really.

399
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:02,360
He's had quite a day.

400
00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:05,760
Busy Ben.

401
00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:10,980
I knew it was too good to be true.

402
00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:31,640
What do you say this stuff is called?

403
00:23:31,900 --> 00:23:32,900
Floating Islands.

404
00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:34,260
I don't see any islands.

405
00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:35,680
They sank.

406
00:23:40,540 --> 00:23:45,000
A fine romance with no pinching.

407
00:23:45,660 --> 00:23:52,480
A fine romance with no pinching. They
think we're like a couple

408
00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:53,860
of hot tomatoes.

409
00:23:55,140 --> 00:23:58,520
But we're as cold as yesterday's mashed
potatoes.

410
00:24:04,010 --> 00:24:11,010
No wrestling A fine romance With no
nestling We

411
00:24:11,010 --> 00:24:16,610
two are just as prickly as cactus plants
Love hasn't got a chance

412
00:24:16,610 --> 00:24:19,790
This is a fine romance